Weve been threw heck and back still made it but seems like small stuff ?

small stuff now ,was stuff from the past, of of our open realatioship is killing us by open i mean we talk about our deepest everythings ,its a blow to hear alot of it ,know the person so long and poof here comes the past in ur face u would have never guessed is placed in ur lap ,and they have no idea how to comperhind it or anything but it was all before they meet but now knowing they just are at a lost , we have very diff back grounds of life,,i dont know how to help him over come it ,,he tells me i shouldnt even worry or think about it but it still haunts him,we have alot of long distance goin on ,we have been together 4 yrs ,this was all just opened up a few months ago ,now i know everyone sees thing diff it affects diff to ,we r a middle aged couple so this isnt high school dramma ,but latley im sure it steams from what the bomb was a few months ago ,but we question each other all but drive each other nuts bickering over the to me small stuff ,but to him it means alot more ,hes not much at opening up like i am ,he tries but i just seem to get bits ,here and there ,were r both sick of the chomping at each others ankles over this but how can we pull togehter agian ,i know it will put another hurting on us ,but we need to figure some thing out we are killing what ,we have fought so hard for ,guys girls anyone with experience in long distance some of the time and long realatioships as well have any ideas ,im seriously lost ,think we both r we need over this wall before it falls on us ,anyone with answers please email me at sweetsilver001,for some reason when i finnally use this thing it never will let the emails go thru ,so help us figure this out b